National Coming Out Day

Rainbow flags, gay marriage and Queer culture are far more openly discussed, celebrated and shared than they used to be – but we still have a long way to go before the world sees the LGBTQIA+ community as wholly equal to cis, straight identities.

In just two generations we have gone from homosexuality being illegal to it being a celebrated part of mainstream culture – gay marriage legalised, human rights extended far further, and Pride celebrations lighting cities and towns around the world up with rainbows, sparkles and love.

However, there are still a lot of people who live in fear. Who worry that their families and loved ones will reject them, turn their back, if they ‘choose to be’ gay. We know that sexuality is not a choice; that it is simply how people are, from birth – the nature vs nurture debate long since debunked in this circumstance – but there are still communities who believe that they can ‘convert’ gay people into straight lives.

All this does is destroy people; it causes life long trauma and heartache, a dissociation from their true self and a feeling of emptiness and separation from a life with love and contentment – which is a very basic human need.

Love – the partnership and support of a partner – is something many people take for granted, and in denying ones own sexuality it puts a barrier between the self and anyone else, romantically or otherwise. The fear of being found out, of being ‘seen’, taints everything – and creates friction and grief in every aspect of the individual’s life.

Coming out is a daunting and life altering event; one which could be a celebration, an acceptance and welcoming of love and a lifetime of happiness – or which could be a rejection, a painful experience which sees someone shamed and disowned simply for wanting love.

If you are questioning your sexuality and looking for support, or if you had a difficult experience with family or loved ones when you came out, I can help. You can contact me through this website, through FacebookLinkedIn or email on, or call me on 07849 037095 – you can also message or call via WhatsApp on the same number, and I offer video sessions for those who are still unable to meet in person. I can help – you don’t have to struggle alone, and our work together is completely confidential.